CapCup 2017 player profile: 801 Strider

Some people are fans of 801 Strider. But many other people are NOT fans of 801 Strider. This article is for those in the latter group. And yes, I did completely steal this idea from Drew Magary. So sue me.

Your player
Allegiance | 801 Strider, the only person in the FGC who could compete with Snake Eyez as a bodybuilder now that Drew Grimey is gone


Come back, Drew Grimey. We miss you.


AKA, according to himself
Abel-Kadable, Strider Free-riu, the wild Gustan

Which...hoo boy. This is Exhibit A for why people shouldn't be allowed to give themselves nicknames. As punishment, we should actually start calling him "Abel-Kadable" from now on. In fact...


Personal history
According to absolutely everybody, Abel-Kadable is the Rock Lee of the FGC: he has no special inherent talents, but he's a genius of effort. He is, in other words, a super-loser.



In every Street Fighter game that comes out, Abel-Kadable starts off playing like shit and then slowly, over the course of years, gets better and better and better until he's, like, almost as good as Fuudo is after twenty minutes. The good news is that he's always got a reason to be confident in the future. The bad news is that, for now, he's still solidly mid-tier - his 29th seed at Capcom Cup doesn't exactly place him among the killers.


Greatest strength
Regardless of how he plays, the one thing you can always say about Abel-Kadable is that he's got his actual life together. Clearly the man works out, first of all. Second, he's got a sense of humor:


Plus, he's frugal as all get-out:



So pay attention, ladies! (Or, I guess, Dogura.) Here's a well-built man who can make you laugh, and he'll definitely be responsible with his prize money. I mean, once he actually, y'know, WINS anything.



Greatest weakness
Other than this kid...



...who is clearly gonna grow up and literally murder him and then wear his skin like a set of footie pajamas, Abel-Kadable's greatest weakness is that he just doesn't have enough time to grind his way to the very tippy top. His progression is kinda cray - he got 49th at Evo in 2012, then 33rd the next year, then 17th in 2015, and at that rate he could easily have won in another few years. There's only one problem: this ain't the 76ers we're talking about. "Trust the process" is a nice motto and all, but it makes no sense when there's a reset button every five years or so. When it comes to the big titles, the FGC is the ultimate win-now league. You don't get better draft picks when you lose. You can't massage your finances to go after free agents. If you want to win, it has to happen RIGHT FUCKING NOW, and that's never been Abel-Kadable's strong suit.


But did he beat Mike Ross?
Well, he beat Combofiend:


And we all know that Combofiend is better than Mike Ross, so I'm counting it.


Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
Simple: he read Daigo's book.

This is the kiss of death, folks. Keoma read Daigo's book and it didn't do shit for him. Gllty got Daigo's autograph in her copy and it didn't do shit for her. Daigo WROTE the fucking book and he's STILL washed up. It's like Daigo's book comes from an "Are You Afraid Of The Dark?" episode or some shit - that thing is fucking cursed, and Abel-Kadable is only its most recent victim.


"But wait," you say
Honestly? You can say whatever you want about this just as long as you keep calling him by his own goofy nickname. "Abel-Kadable." Tee hee.

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