CapCup 2017 player profile: Problem X

Some people are fans of Problem X. But many other people are NOT fans of Problem X. This article is for those in the latter group. And yes, I did completely steal this idea from Drew Magary. So sue me.

Your player
Mousesports | Problem X, the most consistently bored-looking man on the planet:




I really hope that that's not also his O face...but I kinda suspect that it is.


Personal history
Me mate Problem 'ails from merry ol' England. 'E enjoys a roight good cuppa tay and a tin a' biscuits, an' in between matches 'e pops 'round the outsoide of the venue to play a li'ul footie, innit? Pip pip, cheerio, an' all that.

No, but seriously, here's what I'm learning about Problem X: he's the FGC's version of the Strong Black Woman meme. His original game of choice was Call of Duty, which is very eSports-y and not terribly similar to Street Fighter, his current game. So why'd he migrate to the FGC? Well, "because I kept getting let down" by teammates. Translation: Problem X is a strong, independent eSports athlete who don't need no man.

But that's understandable, right? We've all been there. So, cool - Problem ditched CoD because he was too good for his teammates. Then he picked up Street Fighter IV. But was he impressed with his local scene? FUCK no. "The thing about the UK," he says, "is that I think people are lazy." Which, first of all, HOLD THAT, BRITS. But also, again: strong, independent eSports athlete who don't need no man.

Most notably of all, when Problem started his Street Fighter run, he didn't need a sponsor - BECAUSE HE IS ONE. To this day, Problem X Promotions is the sponsor for the UK's premier Mortal Kombat player, A F0xy Grampa. This is the height of strong-independent-eSports-athlete-ness: while the rest of the FGC was either salivating over sponsor dollars or whining about gentrification, Problem became a top player, became a sponsor, got sponsored, and is now winning premier events. If Problem was a basketball player, he'd be Kobe Bryant, scoring eighty one day and verbally incinerating his own teammates the next. He's "Mount Rushmore with one face," as the man once said.


Opinions
He has a few. Here's one: get fucked, online warriors
Here's another: get fucked, Cammy players.
Here's another: get fucked, Laura players.
Here's ANOTHER: get fucked, Karin players.
"I'd start by playing all the characters to learn their little gimmicks. Once I've figured out the moves and played all the characters, then I’ll be focusing on my game. Karin, for example, seems a little gimmicky, with some overhead-lows that are unsafe."
Wait wait wait - he thinks KARIN is a gimmicky character? KARIN?? Will he also tell you that rock is gimmicky if you catch him throwing scissors? Come off it, bruv.

I wonder, though - how does he feel about the shenanigans-heavy, plus-frames-having, side-switch teleporting, crossup-devil's-reversing M. Bison - a character so powerful that Momochi just picked him up?
GEE, WHAT A SURPRISE.

Also, look again at that last tweet. Could someone please teach Problem X how hashtags work? That shit is just embarrassing.


Does his own sponsor know how to spell his name?
No.
"Today we are excited to open a new chapter in mousesports history and present you our new Street Fighter V division. Younes 'CCL' Lazaar and Ben 'ProblemX' Simon will wear our colours when they compete in tournaments around the world and set their eyes on the Capcom cup."
It's not "problemks," you tools, it's "problem ecks." Then again, these people couldn't even be bothered to capitalize both words in "Capcom Cup," so I dunno what I expected.


Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
Here's the thing: fighting game players who intentionally make life hard on themselves don't tend to win a lot. Sure, it probably feels really good to know that you've pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and made your own way. And we all know how easy it is to fall into the trap of thinking that you're the only one on the planet who plays an honest character. But this me-against-the-world act can only take you so far.

Ask anybody who's been to Japan why the Japanese players are so strong. Y'know what they'll say? They'll say that the Japanese scene is all about helping other people and having each person make everyone else stronger. Remember what Tokido said about the Karin matchup after Evo? "I have a friend," he said. "It's no secret: I have Mago." Again, though, Problem is the Kobe of the FGC, and do you remember Kobe ever making HIS teammates better? Did Kobe ever work with Smush Parker or Kwame Brown? No - Kobe didn't make friends. He just yelled at people and then told his GM to hire better players. It's the same with Problem: he wasn't getting the support he wanted in CoD, so he left; then he wasn't getting the support he wanted in the UK, so he decided to do it himself. Collaboration does not seem to be his thing. And while his results this season have certainly been impressive, nobody can win Capcom Cup all on their own.


"But wait," you say
Go ahead, you well-mannered scone-eaters. Berate me with your charming accents and your delightful slang. Honestly, I would rather have a Brit talk shit on me than have a West Virginian praise me anyway.

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