Some people are fans of NuckleDu. But many other people are NOT fans of NuckleDu. This article is for those in the latter group. And yes, I did completely steal this idea from Drew Magary. So sue me.
Your player
Liquid | NuckleDu
Anybody who can put that expression on GamerBee's face is a problem. Also, though, did you know that Empire Arcadia is still around? The world sure is a strange place.
Personal history
USA! USA!
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
But to be serious for a moment, I would be remiss if I didn't also add:
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Signature move
You wouldn't think that somebody could turn taunting into their signature move, but, well, here we are.
He must have been pretty pissed off that they took that out of SFV. Luckily, though, the lad is creative:
What a hero.
Best tweet
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
Much like his home state of Florida, NuckleDu has the calming, generically attractive outward appearance of a stock photo but, inside, is full of trollery and bullshit. Here's a real picture of a real gated community in Florida:
It's like, are you shitting me? You people started off with a state that's sunny and warm all year long and has nice beaches and palm trees and then you filled it with GATED COMMUNITIES and named one of them WALDEN GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING POND? What's WRONG with you assholes?
But that's the NuckleDu experience in a nutshell: you hear that he's a world champion and you see that he looks like an intelligent, respectful young man, and then you watch him play and suddenly it's all dash-up upside-down kicks and bullshit Mika setups and endless teabags. NuckleDu does not give ANY shits. He HOARDS his shits. He's starting a shit MUSEUM, and every single turd in there is gonna be a fecal representation of how one of his opponents feels after eating a random flash kick and then watching NuckleDu tap down on his stick eighty fucking times.
And that's also why NuckleDu won't win Capcom Cup: he's too trolly. Sure, he won last year, but that was a hardcore fluke. Look at who he had to play: XsK Samurai, Xian (playing FANG), Xiao Hai, MOV, and Ricki Ortiz. No offense to that group of players, but there's no way that Du's path through the bracket will be that easy this time around. I mean, seriously: last year the one, two, AND three seeds went 0-2 before Du had to play them. Do you really think that's gonna happen again? No. Definitely no. This time he's gonna face some real competition, and that'll be his undoing.
"But wait," you say
Just look at those soulful eyes! Just look at his winsome smile! Just look at all the teabags! Tell me what else you love about NuckleDu in the comments.
Your player
Liquid | NuckleDu
Anybody who can put that expression on GamerBee's face is a problem. Also, though, did you know that Empire Arcadia is still around? The world sure is a strange place.
Personal history
USA! USA!
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
But to be serious for a moment, I would be remiss if I didn't also add:
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Signature move
You wouldn't think that somebody could turn taunting into their signature move, but, well, here we are.
He must have been pretty pissed off that they took that out of SFV. Luckily, though, the lad is creative:
What a hero.
Best tweet
Hi— Du Dang (@LiquidNuckleDu) August 1, 2017
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
Much like his home state of Florida, NuckleDu has the calming, generically attractive outward appearance of a stock photo but, inside, is full of trollery and bullshit. Here's a real picture of a real gated community in Florida:
It's like, are you shitting me? You people started off with a state that's sunny and warm all year long and has nice beaches and palm trees and then you filled it with GATED COMMUNITIES and named one of them WALDEN GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING POND? What's WRONG with you assholes?
But that's the NuckleDu experience in a nutshell: you hear that he's a world champion and you see that he looks like an intelligent, respectful young man, and then you watch him play and suddenly it's all dash-up upside-down kicks and bullshit Mika setups and endless teabags. NuckleDu does not give ANY shits. He HOARDS his shits. He's starting a shit MUSEUM, and every single turd in there is gonna be a fecal representation of how one of his opponents feels after eating a random flash kick and then watching NuckleDu tap down on his stick eighty fucking times.
And that's also why NuckleDu won't win Capcom Cup: he's too trolly. Sure, he won last year, but that was a hardcore fluke. Look at who he had to play: XsK Samurai, Xian (playing FANG), Xiao Hai, MOV, and Ricki Ortiz. No offense to that group of players, but there's no way that Du's path through the bracket will be that easy this time around. I mean, seriously: last year the one, two, AND three seeds went 0-2 before Du had to play them. Do you really think that's gonna happen again? No. Definitely no. This time he's gonna face some real competition, and that'll be his undoing.
"But wait," you say
Just look at those soulful eyes! Just look at his winsome smile! Just look at all the teabags! Tell me what else you love about NuckleDu in the comments.
Comments
Post a Comment