Some people are fans of Momochi. But many other people are NOT fans of Momochi. This article is for those in the latter group. And yes, I did completely steal this idea from Drew Magary. So sue me.
Your player
Echo Fox | Momochi, who should definitely stick to his day job:
I'm not 100% sure what's going on there, but it is NOT GOOD.
AKA
Momo, Yolochi
Personal history
So, okay, here's the thing: Momochi is basically the golden boy of the FGC. Let's go down the list, shall we?
First of all, Momochi is a true pro gamer. His lifetime winnings are over a hundred grand and he's been sponsored by top-flight companies for years, starting with EG in 2011 and then switching to Echo Fox recently.
He's also scary-good. Not all sponsored players are legit threats to win tournaments or even get out of pools, but Momochi is: he's got both a main-stage Evo title in Street Fighter AND a Capcom Cup title under his belt. Know how many other people can say that? FUCKING ZERO, THAT'S HOW MANY.
Plus, he's married - and, because this is Momochi we're talking about, his waifu is a sponsored Street Fighter player, too, which means that his career will never interfere with his relationship.
Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, he comes from a line of ACTUAL NINJAS:
Greatest strength
What, like he really needs something else other than the fact that he's a ninja world champion who gets paid and is married to a fellow pro player? That's not fucking good enough? Fine - in that case, here's one: his hit confirms are BONKERS. Just watch these two videos and you'll see.
Greatest weakness
Jump-scares:
Is that what happened to that poor cake? Was he trying to decorate a cake while a slasher movie was on in the background? Because, seriously, that cake looks like shit.
Signature move
The YOLO uppercut. I count EIGHT in this four-game match against Kazunoko:
Now, some of you may be confused about the difference between the Momochi YOLO DP and the Daigo "UmeShoryu." The difference is this: Momochi is promiscuous with it. Both players make crazy guesses - sorry, "HARD READS" - but Daigo reserves his "reads" for the neutral. Momochi, on the other hand, sprays his reads all over the place. He does it in the neutral, he does it on his wakeup, he does it on your wakeup, he does it in the middle of your fake blockstrings, he just fucking DOES IT. And if it hits, he does it again - and again, and again, and again. Basically, Momochi plays like ItaZan, only without the extra health and the extra damage. Which, somehow, makes him better, because fuck logic, I guess.
But did he beat Mike Ross?
Pff - yup:
Peep the YOLO zonks at 2:40 and 6:04. Momochi may be a nutcase, but at least he's consistent about it.
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
Because the Age of Momochi has passed. He was the man in Street Fighter IV, but he's still trying to get in the door with Street Fighter V. After a pretty solid year in 2016, he went 1-2 in Capcom Cup and, except for online qualifiers (WHICH ARE BULLSHIT), he's barely even cracked a top 8 this year. Why is this happening? Well, some people will say that this is because Momochi is too busy training the next generation of Japanese SF players. Other people will say that it's because Momochi wins by outsmarting his opponents whereas SFV is a game where you win by out-stupiding the other player. But I know the real reason. It's because of the eclipse.
See, Momochi is obviously Fire Nation: his calling card is Ken's incendiary fierce DP. And we know that the Fire Nation is weakened by eclipses. So clearly what happened is that the impending eclipse sapped him of his superpowers. Judging by how far back his slump started, I expect it'll take another 8-12 months before he fully recovers - that is, IF he fully recovers. Who knows? It may already be too late for Fire Lord Momochi.
"But wait," you say
Yeah, yeah - I know. The eclipse thing only happens on the DAY OF the eclipse and only applies to firebenders. Fuck you, you nerds. Come at me in the comments.
Your player
Echo Fox | Momochi, who should definitely stick to his day job:
I'm not 100% sure what's going on there, but it is NOT GOOD.
AKA
Momo, Yolochi
Personal history
So, okay, here's the thing: Momochi is basically the golden boy of the FGC. Let's go down the list, shall we?
First of all, Momochi is a true pro gamer. His lifetime winnings are over a hundred grand and he's been sponsored by top-flight companies for years, starting with EG in 2011 and then switching to Echo Fox recently.
He's also scary-good. Not all sponsored players are legit threats to win tournaments or even get out of pools, but Momochi is: he's got both a main-stage Evo title in Street Fighter AND a Capcom Cup title under his belt. Know how many other people can say that? FUCKING ZERO, THAT'S HOW MANY.
Plus, he's married - and, because this is Momochi we're talking about, his waifu is a sponsored Street Fighter player, too, which means that his career will never interfere with his relationship.
Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, he comes from a line of ACTUAL NINJAS:
"Momochi's father told him that they were descended from the Momochi ninja clan of the Iga region, explaining why their last name uses the exact same kanji characters...So yeah - good for you, Momochi. Good for you for having an amazing, unbelievable, too-good-to-be-true life. BUT TOO BAD YOU CAN'T DECORATE CAKES, THOUGH. I'VE GOT YOU THERE, MOTHERFUCKER.
Yusuke, who is from Nagoya, discovered that his grandmother's tomb had the same family crest that famed 16th century ninja Sandayu Momochi also sported[, and] even now on Yusuke's family register, it does says 'Sandayu household,' and he still has a grandfather who lives in Mie Prefecture. According to Koji Yamaguchi, a historian specializing in the Iga region, there's no mistaking that someone with the last name Momochi who hails from the area has ninja ancestors."
Greatest strength
What, like he really needs something else other than the fact that he's a ninja world champion who gets paid and is married to a fellow pro player? That's not fucking good enough? Fine - in that case, here's one: his hit confirms are BONKERS. Just watch these two videos and you'll see.
Greatest weakness
Jump-scares:
Is that what happened to that poor cake? Was he trying to decorate a cake while a slasher movie was on in the background? Because, seriously, that cake looks like shit.
Signature move
The YOLO uppercut. I count EIGHT in this four-game match against Kazunoko:
Now, some of you may be confused about the difference between the Momochi YOLO DP and the Daigo "UmeShoryu." The difference is this: Momochi is promiscuous with it. Both players make crazy guesses - sorry, "HARD READS" - but Daigo reserves his "reads" for the neutral. Momochi, on the other hand, sprays his reads all over the place. He does it in the neutral, he does it on his wakeup, he does it on your wakeup, he does it in the middle of your fake blockstrings, he just fucking DOES IT. And if it hits, he does it again - and again, and again, and again. Basically, Momochi plays like ItaZan, only without the extra health and the extra damage. Which, somehow, makes him better, because fuck logic, I guess.
But did he beat Mike Ross?
Pff - yup:
Peep the YOLO zonks at 2:40 and 6:04. Momochi may be a nutcase, but at least he's consistent about it.
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
Because the Age of Momochi has passed. He was the man in Street Fighter IV, but he's still trying to get in the door with Street Fighter V. After a pretty solid year in 2016, he went 1-2 in Capcom Cup and, except for online qualifiers (WHICH ARE BULLSHIT), he's barely even cracked a top 8 this year. Why is this happening? Well, some people will say that this is because Momochi is too busy training the next generation of Japanese SF players. Other people will say that it's because Momochi wins by outsmarting his opponents whereas SFV is a game where you win by out-stupiding the other player. But I know the real reason. It's because of the eclipse.
See, Momochi is obviously Fire Nation: his calling card is Ken's incendiary fierce DP. And we know that the Fire Nation is weakened by eclipses. So clearly what happened is that the impending eclipse sapped him of his superpowers. Judging by how far back his slump started, I expect it'll take another 8-12 months before he fully recovers - that is, IF he fully recovers. Who knows? It may already be too late for Fire Lord Momochi.
"But wait," you say
Yeah, yeah - I know. The eclipse thing only happens on the DAY OF the eclipse and only applies to firebenders. Fuck you, you nerds. Come at me in the comments.
Not a "But wait," comment this - wanted to chime in to say that your posts are both funny and insightful!
ReplyDeleteThanks, man - I'm doin' my best ^_^
DeleteHope that you continue to enjoy!