Some people are fans of MenaRD. But many other people are NOT fans of MenaRD. This article is for those in the latter group. And yes, I did completely steal this idea from Drew Magary. So sue me.
Your player
Rise | MenaRD, international man of mystery:
That's from the official Rise website, by the way. Guess MenaRD must be in witness protection or some shit.
Which is pronounced...
"Men-uh arr dee," not "meh-nard." Could someone explain to me, though, why all the Birdie players have funky names? Between MenaRD and Xyzzy, there's a clear pattern developing. Is it that being a troll makes you more likely to play Birdie? Or does playing Birdie turn you into a troll? GET ON IT, SCIENTISTS.
CPT season recap
With wins over top players like Verloren, Smug, NuckleDu, Nemo, Haitani, and Punk, not to mention wins over washed-up players like Justin Wong and Daigo, MenaRD showed this year that his ceiling is super-high. And why shouldn't it be? When you can do shit like this to one of the Five Japanese Gods, clearly you're doing something right:
Sick, right? So obviously you know what's coming next:
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Seriously, what is going on here? Bonchan wins a bunch with Nash and then ditches Nash. Punk dominates the entire universe with Karin and then starts fooling around with half the cast. Momochi, whose name is synonymous with Ken, picks up M. Bison out of fucking nowhere. Now MenaRD is talking about sidelining his Birdie? Listen, this is not rocket science, people. If it ain't broke, DON'T FIX IT. Are the Patriots trading Tom Brady? Did the Warriors let Steph Curry sign with another team? Are Mumford and Sons ever gonna write a song that sounds different from the other eight hundred songs they wrote that already all sound the same? OF COURSE NOT. And why not? Because it's working! Brady sold his soul to the devil and will win forever, Steph is basketball Spider-Man, and there are millions of manila-envelope human beings out there who will buy Mumford and Sons' next album on pure reflex.
But no - that's not good enough for MenaRD. MenaRD has to go and fuck around with some side character who's probably gonna get bopped in ten milliseconds. Good luck with that, buddy.
Second best popoff
Hold onto your seats, boys and girls:
Best popoff
DDRs, avert your eyes:
Glorious. And yet his own sponsor STILL hasn't posted a picture of him! I tell you, this is not the high-production-value baller's-life eSports world I was promised.
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
You mean, other than the fact that he's supposedly abandoning his main in the biggest tournament of the year? Simple: he's a LatAm player, and LatAm is the only region not to have won a world championship. Europe got their Evo when Luffy bumblefucked his way into a matchup with Sagat and then backdashed his way to victory, and America got our Capcom Cup with NuckleDu after the rest of the world committed sudoku in the early rounds. But LatAm is still the redheaded stepchild of the CPT, and this tournament won't change that.
"But wait," you say
So, okay, LatAm may not have the best of everything. But I'll say this much: their popoff game is ON POINT. So if any of you Dominican Republic boys are out there, you might as well flap your gums in the comments.
Your player
Rise | MenaRD, international man of mystery:
That's from the official Rise website, by the way. Guess MenaRD must be in witness protection or some shit.
Which is pronounced...
"Men-uh arr dee," not "meh-nard." Could someone explain to me, though, why all the Birdie players have funky names? Between MenaRD and Xyzzy, there's a clear pattern developing. Is it that being a troll makes you more likely to play Birdie? Or does playing Birdie turn you into a troll? GET ON IT, SCIENTISTS.
CPT season recap
With wins over top players like Verloren, Smug, NuckleDu, Nemo, Haitani, and Punk, not to mention wins over washed-up players like Justin Wong and Daigo, MenaRD showed this year that his ceiling is super-high. And why shouldn't it be? When you can do shit like this to one of the Five Japanese Gods, clearly you're doing something right:
Sick, right? So obviously you know what's coming next:
Competition think they ready for me at ccup, what they dont know is... birdie is not even my main anymore.— RISE | MenaRD (@_MenaRD__) September 27, 2017
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Seriously, what is going on here? Bonchan wins a bunch with Nash and then ditches Nash. Punk dominates the entire universe with Karin and then starts fooling around with half the cast. Momochi, whose name is synonymous with Ken, picks up M. Bison out of fucking nowhere. Now MenaRD is talking about sidelining his Birdie? Listen, this is not rocket science, people. If it ain't broke, DON'T FIX IT. Are the Patriots trading Tom Brady? Did the Warriors let Steph Curry sign with another team? Are Mumford and Sons ever gonna write a song that sounds different from the other eight hundred songs they wrote that already all sound the same? OF COURSE NOT. And why not? Because it's working! Brady sold his soul to the devil and will win forever, Steph is basketball Spider-Man, and there are millions of manila-envelope human beings out there who will buy Mumford and Sons' next album on pure reflex.
But no - that's not good enough for MenaRD. MenaRD has to go and fuck around with some side character who's probably gonna get bopped in ten milliseconds. Good luck with that, buddy.
Second best popoff
Hold onto your seats, boys and girls:
Gee whiz, Mena, why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel.Just another day at the office for @_MenaRD__ as he defeats Punk at SoCal Regionals! #WeRise pic.twitter.com/n8UtkPwtjy— RiseNation (@TheRiseNation) September 23, 2017
Best popoff
DDRs, avert your eyes:
Glorious. And yet his own sponsor STILL hasn't posted a picture of him! I tell you, this is not the high-production-value baller's-life eSports world I was promised.
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
You mean, other than the fact that he's supposedly abandoning his main in the biggest tournament of the year? Simple: he's a LatAm player, and LatAm is the only region not to have won a world championship. Europe got their Evo when Luffy bumblefucked his way into a matchup with Sagat and then backdashed his way to victory, and America got our Capcom Cup with NuckleDu after the rest of the world committed sudoku in the early rounds. But LatAm is still the redheaded stepchild of the CPT, and this tournament won't change that.
"But wait," you say
So, okay, LatAm may not have the best of everything. But I'll say this much: their popoff game is ON POINT. So if any of you Dominican Republic boys are out there, you might as well flap your gums in the comments.
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