Some people are fans of Haitani. But many other people are NOT fans of Haitani. This article is for those in the latter group. And yes, I did completely steal this idea from Drew Magary. So sue me.
Your player
GRPT | Haitani
AKA
Crazy Rascal
Which, duh - I mean, just look at that picture up there. Haitani is OBVIOUSLY the life of the party. He would fit right in with Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd's "wild and crazy guys" sketch. You look at his face and you're like, "WHOA, DUDE, CALM IT DOWN - YOUR CRAZINESS IS TOO MUCH RIGHT NOW, NOT TO MENTION YOUR RASCALITUDE."
But no, seriously, HAITANI is the "Crazy Rascal"? Why - because he throws out a DP every now and then? In that case, Kazunoko must be the Maniacal Bloodthirsty Serial Killer Cannibal or some shit. Up your nickname game, Japan.
Personal background
Well, this just seems like cheating.
At any rate, Haitani is known as one of the Five Gods of Street Fighter. This is largely due to his ferociously aggressive rushdown tactics. Most players have a taste for offense, but Haitani is like your awkward, uncomfortable uncle: he's positively COMPELLED to put hands on you. Playing against this man is like trying to push a couch up a flight of stairs by yourself: if you take it slow and steady you'll be fine, but if you slip up at all then things can go VERY WRONG VERY FAST. Just look at what his Makoto could do in SFIV:
If you don't have Steel Curtain levels of defense, there's a good chance that Haitani will shred you like tissue paper.
Also, he once won a Vampire Savior side tournament at Evo. Which...yay? I guess?
CPT season recap
Y'know, Haitani has had a pretty good season so far, but honestly I can't help feeling like the whole thing is just a setup for him to launch a lifestyle brand. Like, judging by his twitter account, Haitani is basically the Gwyneth Paltrow of the FGC. He posts lots of inspirational travel pics of himself...
But does Punk make him passionate?
Yes.
What a crazy rascal.
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
For a so-called god, Haitani sure doesn't seem like a modern fighting game player. These days, it seems like everyone has to have a little bit of everything: footsies, mixups, mind games, tech, counterpicks, blah blah blah. But that's not Haitani's style. He says he likes SFV because "it does not really require you to perform hard combos or advanced techniques." In fact, he still doesn't think that the game is easy ENOUGH: "He actually wants fewer wake up options, so that he can meaty more consistently." Which, on the one hand, is positively quaint - but, on the other hand, is guaranteed to be his downfall.
See, Haitani wants to play a simple, low-tech game, but he doesn't actually have a choice of whether or not to be technical. Xian is a tech monster. Tokido is a tech monster. Oil King is heinous. You know that NuckleDu is gonna come with some grimy stuff. Anyone who shows up with a Menat is guaranteed to have some shit. When Haitani plays his rock/paper/scissors style of game, then he's usually okay. But if he's ever forced to play someone else's game, he's a fish out of water - and he WILL be forced to play a technical match at some point in the bracket. When that happens, he'll be done for.
"But wait," you say
He's an Evo champ (technically)! A god (technically)! Tell me why I'm wrong to write him off in the comments.
Your player
GRPT | Haitani
AKA
Crazy Rascal
Which, duh - I mean, just look at that picture up there. Haitani is OBVIOUSLY the life of the party. He would fit right in with Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd's "wild and crazy guys" sketch. You look at his face and you're like, "WHOA, DUDE, CALM IT DOWN - YOUR CRAZINESS IS TOO MUCH RIGHT NOW, NOT TO MENTION YOUR RASCALITUDE."
But no, seriously, HAITANI is the "Crazy Rascal"? Why - because he throws out a DP every now and then? In that case, Kazunoko must be the Maniacal Bloodthirsty Serial Killer Cannibal or some shit. Up your nickname game, Japan.
Personal background
Well, this just seems like cheating.
"Haitani partly credits his success to his time working at SNK Playmore, the successor to the original SNK Corporation, creators of classic fighting games like Samurai Shodown, Fatal Fury, and King of Fighters. Being a big fan of the King of Fighters games, Haitani had a 'dream come true' moment when he got to work on game balance for the series."So when Combofiend went to work for Capcom, he had to stop competing. And when Mike Ross went to work for Twitch, HE had to stop competing. But Haitani was allowed to keep competing while he worked for SNK? Can anybody say "Japanese player privilege"?
At any rate, Haitani is known as one of the Five Gods of Street Fighter. This is largely due to his ferociously aggressive rushdown tactics. Most players have a taste for offense, but Haitani is like your awkward, uncomfortable uncle: he's positively COMPELLED to put hands on you. Playing against this man is like trying to push a couch up a flight of stairs by yourself: if you take it slow and steady you'll be fine, but if you slip up at all then things can go VERY WRONG VERY FAST. Just look at what his Makoto could do in SFIV:
If you don't have Steel Curtain levels of defense, there's a good chance that Haitani will shred you like tissue paper.
Also, he once won a Vampire Savior side tournament at Evo. Which...yay? I guess?
CPT season recap
Y'know, Haitani has had a pretty good season so far, but honestly I can't help feeling like the whole thing is just a setup for him to launch a lifestyle brand. Like, judging by his twitter account, Haitani is basically the Gwyneth Paltrow of the FGC. He posts lots of inspirational travel pics of himself...
グラフトパックを背負って大阪に出発。— ハイタニ(Haitani) (@hai090) July 21, 2017
とりあえず最初の目的地はモンテか！？ pic.twitter.com/ewouDN9pPS
今日は息抜きに高尾山へ。— ハイタニ(Haitani) (@hai090) September 1, 2017
丁度歩くのに気持ちが良い気温になってて良かったな。 pic.twitter.com/PY6wHel2go
— ハイタニ(Haitani) (@hai090) July 29, 2017
— ハイタニ(Haitani) (@hai090) April 15, 2017...and he's always talking about the fancy food that he's eating...
珍しく土曜にスカイで対戦会があったので終了後、にゃん師さんに教えて貰ったインド料理屋カッチャルバッチャルへ行ったけどめっちゃ美味かった。— ハイタニ(Haitani) (@hai090) September 9, 2017
大塚駅近くにあるんだけど日曜は定休日だから日スカ後には行けないのが残念。 pic.twitter.com/Ln9oZESvYi
— ハイタニ(Haitani) (@hai090) August 21, 2017
...so, I mean, he's on his way. If he starts talking about how it's healthy to shove crystals into your ass, I won't be surprised.French meal is very delicious! pic.twitter.com/2w9IBYjXEn— ハイタニ(Haitani) (@hai090) April 9, 2017
But does Punk make him passionate?
Yes.
Punk（@PunkDaGod）is a wonderful player who makes me passionate.— ハイタニ(Haitani) (@hai090) May 1, 2017
I am looking forward to a rematch.
See you again👍🏻
What a crazy rascal.
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
For a so-called god, Haitani sure doesn't seem like a modern fighting game player. These days, it seems like everyone has to have a little bit of everything: footsies, mixups, mind games, tech, counterpicks, blah blah blah. But that's not Haitani's style. He says he likes SFV because "it does not really require you to perform hard combos or advanced techniques." In fact, he still doesn't think that the game is easy ENOUGH: "He actually wants fewer wake up options, so that he can meaty more consistently." Which, on the one hand, is positively quaint - but, on the other hand, is guaranteed to be his downfall.
See, Haitani wants to play a simple, low-tech game, but he doesn't actually have a choice of whether or not to be technical. Xian is a tech monster. Tokido is a tech monster. Oil King is heinous. You know that NuckleDu is gonna come with some grimy stuff. Anyone who shows up with a Menat is guaranteed to have some shit. When Haitani plays his rock/paper/scissors style of game, then he's usually okay. But if he's ever forced to play someone else's game, he's a fish out of water - and he WILL be forced to play a technical match at some point in the bracket. When that happens, he'll be done for.
"But wait," you say
He's an Evo champ (technically)! A god (technically)! Tell me why I'm wrong to write him off in the comments.
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