Some people are fans of Big Bird. But many other people are NOT fans of Big Bird. This article is for those in the latter group. And yes, I did completely steal this idea from Drew Magary. So sue me.
Your player
NASR | Big Bird
Some of you probably thought that was gonna be a picture from Sesame Street, huh? Well, FUCK YOU. I do have SOME standards for this column. Shoutouts to Sesame Street Fighter, though.
Personal history
Big Bird originally hails from Algeria and now lives in Abu Dhabi. Wanna know something cool about Algeria or Abu Dhabi? Yeah - me, too.
I did try to do some research, but all I found out was that "Algeria is the largest oat market in Africa" - which, um, cool? - and that this exists:
So, yeah, thanks a lot, American public-school education!
As for Big Bird himself, he's a rare creature: a responsible member of the FGC. Instead of blowing all his money on travel or tournament entry fees, he waited to find a sponsor who would pay his way. Instead of pulling a Kanye West and shooting for the stars with no backup plan, Big Bird continued his studies while he was finding his place in the community. He has a good relationship with his parents. He doesn't gamble. He even looks like he flosses, the goddamn goody-two-shoes. That must be why Red Bull says he has "clear optential":
Say what you want about the rest of the field, nobody else has optential that's as clear as Big Bird's. NOBODY.
CPT season recap
After playing Guy in the previous version of the game, Big Bird picked up Ken for SFV because, I guess, he likes characters who run. You kinda wonder why he isn't a Sonic player in Smash 4 in that case, but whatever. The point is, Big Bird has a bunch of top 8 finishes and even defended his home turf by winning a ranking event in the UAE. But that's weird, because he doesn't seem to be playing the same game that everyone else is. The knock on SFV is that it rewards brainless play, but Big Bird sees it exactly the other way. In his mind,
Career highlight
He totally beat Infiltration this one time:
Too bad Infil is washed up now. I bet all the '17ers don't even know who that is.
Greatest strength
Big Bird, it turns out, has a natural talent for stating the obvious. For example, how do you get better, according to Big Bird? You should "see what your mistakes were and avoid them next time you play." Which, really? Y'think? How many people are out there going, "Fuck, man, I thought you were supposed to REPEAT your mistakes"? I mean, other than Mike Ross.
Likewise, here's his position on scouting unknowns in pools: "I just checked to see if any of these players are from Asia or something." Which, yep. That checks out.
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
He's too direct. Much like his choice of characters, Big Bird likes to rush straight to the point without going through any extra motion. That's an admirable trait to have in real life, but Capcom Cup is gonna be a goddamn snake pit - rushing right in maaaaaaay not be the best idea. With devious motherfuckers like Xian, ItaZan, and NuckleDu in the bracket, you can't win without being prepared for some sneaky shit to go down. I don't expect Big Bird to lay an egg (#gratuitouspuns #JamesChen), but I do expect him to get lit the fuck up once he reaches the later stages of the bracket.
"But wait," you say
Please, seriously, if you know anything interesting about Algeria or Abu Dhabi, tell me. I don't even really care that much about Big Bird - there must be SOMETHING worth knowing about those places.
Your player
NASR | Big Bird
Some of you probably thought that was gonna be a picture from Sesame Street, huh? Well, FUCK YOU. I do have SOME standards for this column. Shoutouts to Sesame Street Fighter, though.
Personal history
Big Bird originally hails from Algeria and now lives in Abu Dhabi. Wanna know something cool about Algeria or Abu Dhabi? Yeah - me, too.
I did try to do some research, but all I found out was that "Algeria is the largest oat market in Africa" - which, um, cool? - and that this exists:
So, yeah, thanks a lot, American public-school education!
As for Big Bird himself, he's a rare creature: a responsible member of the FGC. Instead of blowing all his money on travel or tournament entry fees, he waited to find a sponsor who would pay his way. Instead of pulling a Kanye West and shooting for the stars with no backup plan, Big Bird continued his studies while he was finding his place in the community. He has a good relationship with his parents. He doesn't gamble. He even looks like he flosses, the goddamn goody-two-shoes. That must be why Red Bull says he has "clear optential":
Say what you want about the rest of the field, nobody else has optential that's as clear as Big Bird's. NOBODY.
CPT season recap
After playing Guy in the previous version of the game, Big Bird picked up Ken for SFV because, I guess, he likes characters who run. You kinda wonder why he isn't a Sonic player in Smash 4 in that case, but whatever. The point is, Big Bird has a bunch of top 8 finishes and even defended his home turf by winning a ranking event in the UAE. But that's weird, because he doesn't seem to be playing the same game that everyone else is. The knock on SFV is that it rewards brainless play, but Big Bird sees it exactly the other way. In his mind,
"every character now will be forced to think about and commit to their options. Now, if you play solid and get the right reads, you'll win. It feels more satisfying winning the honest way rather than robbing someone from just one knockdown."So someone here is off their fucking rocker. Either you DO have to think in SFV and all the people who cry about Laura are crazy, or you DON'T have to think in SFV and Big Bird is crazy. I'm not saying who's right and who's wrong, but Big Bird sure is outnumbered.
Career highlight
He totally beat Infiltration this one time:
Too bad Infil is washed up now. I bet all the '17ers don't even know who that is.
Greatest strength
Big Bird, it turns out, has a natural talent for stating the obvious. For example, how do you get better, according to Big Bird? You should "see what your mistakes were and avoid them next time you play." Which, really? Y'think? How many people are out there going, "Fuck, man, I thought you were supposed to REPEAT your mistakes"? I mean, other than Mike Ross.
Likewise, here's his position on scouting unknowns in pools: "I just checked to see if any of these players are from Asia or something." Which, yep. That checks out.
His opinion on Abigail after the trailer came out? "He looks like Hugo, as he's big enough." Can't argue with that!
Has SFV displaced SFIV? "Yeah, I think so." O rly!
And, okay, in fairness to Big Bird, I dunno what the fuck else he was supposed to say to that last question. But still, this is a man who isn't easily confused. He knows what he knows, and he doesn't hesitate to say it.
Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup
He's too direct. Much like his choice of characters, Big Bird likes to rush straight to the point without going through any extra motion. That's an admirable trait to have in real life, but Capcom Cup is gonna be a goddamn snake pit - rushing right in maaaaaaay not be the best idea. With devious motherfuckers like Xian, ItaZan, and NuckleDu in the bracket, you can't win without being prepared for some sneaky shit to go down. I don't expect Big Bird to lay an egg (#gratuitouspuns #JamesChen), but I do expect him to get lit the fuck up once he reaches the later stages of the bracket.
"But wait," you say
Please, seriously, if you know anything interesting about Algeria or Abu Dhabi, tell me. I don't even really care that much about Big Bird - there must be SOMETHING worth knowing about those places.
Abu Dhabi has quite a rocking opera house. I would know, I lived there.
ReplyDelete