Let's hit the highlights.
Avenging Army
Best: Arthur
Arthur is so goddamn adorable. Just look at that pose! And remember his polka-dot boxers from MVC3? You really can't go wrong. Or, I mean, you can't go wrong with the costumes - as a character, he's never been that good. But this one-angel-waifu-wing look mixed with the Dark Souls armor is just delightful.
Worst: Hawkeye
Hawkeye is not a real superhero. He has fewer and worse powers than BATMAN does, and Batman is just Elon Musk on PCP. So when you design costumes for Hawkeye, you really can't fuck around and try to be clever. The thing with two quivers? That's not cool, it's dumb. The fact that he has a full facemask AND sunglasses? Also dumb. Plus, they gave him a pistol, which defeats the entire fucking purpose. Hawkeye is lame as shit to begin with. This doesn't help.
World Warriors
Best: Hulk
Putting giant savages in pinstripe suits is pretty much the best thing ever. Godzilla, for instance, is already great, but d'you know what would be even better? GODZILLA IN A PINSTRIPE SUIT. The xenomorphs from Alien? PUT 'EM IN A PINSTRIPE SUIT. Pinstripe suits for everyone! Let's make this a thing.
Worst: Ryu
This is fine as a character model or whatever, but there's one big problem: Ryu isn't in this game. I've never seen anyone play him, nobody is releasing tech videos for him, and there's nobody talking about the Ryu matchup. I understand that Capcom probably just designs Ryu costumes for all of its games just in case, but still, this is just embarrassing.
Mystic Masters
Best: Ghost Rider
We can all agree that cowboys are dumb, right? Yes, yes we can - cowboys are dumb. But cowboys suddenly become ultra-sick when they're also something else. Cowboy Bebop? Fantastic! Cowboy mech pilots? Sign me up! The cowboy-zombie expansion pack in Red Dead Redemption? Really good! Cowboy ninjas? That'd be amazing! Flaming, chain-wielding cowboy skeletons? SICK. AS. FUCK.
Worst: Nemesis
I'm sorry, I just can't take this outfit seriously. Nemesis is supposed to be the next best thing to an otherworldly horror, but he looks like he stole this look from the children's section at Old Navy. He looks like he should be carrying a fucking lunchbox instead of a rocket launcher. I feel like I should hand him a tiny paper bag with a temporary tattoo and a Capri Sun in it. It's not exactly intimidating.
But okay - at least they're trying. Maybe next time they'll put half that much effort into the collector's edition and people won't end up with a bunch of cheap-ass plastic light-up Easter eggs. Fingers crossed.
Avenging Army
Best: Arthur
Arthur is so goddamn adorable. Just look at that pose! And remember his polka-dot boxers from MVC3? You really can't go wrong. Or, I mean, you can't go wrong with the costumes - as a character, he's never been that good. But this one-angel-waifu-wing look mixed with the Dark Souls armor is just delightful.
Worst: Hawkeye
Hawkeye is not a real superhero. He has fewer and worse powers than BATMAN does, and Batman is just Elon Musk on PCP. So when you design costumes for Hawkeye, you really can't fuck around and try to be clever. The thing with two quivers? That's not cool, it's dumb. The fact that he has a full facemask AND sunglasses? Also dumb. Plus, they gave him a pistol, which defeats the entire fucking purpose. Hawkeye is lame as shit to begin with. This doesn't help.
World Warriors
Best: Hulk
Putting giant savages in pinstripe suits is pretty much the best thing ever. Godzilla, for instance, is already great, but d'you know what would be even better? GODZILLA IN A PINSTRIPE SUIT. The xenomorphs from Alien? PUT 'EM IN A PINSTRIPE SUIT. Pinstripe suits for everyone! Let's make this a thing.
Worst: Ryu
This is fine as a character model or whatever, but there's one big problem: Ryu isn't in this game. I've never seen anyone play him, nobody is releasing tech videos for him, and there's nobody talking about the Ryu matchup. I understand that Capcom probably just designs Ryu costumes for all of its games just in case, but still, this is just embarrassing.
Mystic Masters
Best: Ghost Rider
We can all agree that cowboys are dumb, right? Yes, yes we can - cowboys are dumb. But cowboys suddenly become ultra-sick when they're also something else. Cowboy Bebop? Fantastic! Cowboy mech pilots? Sign me up! The cowboy-zombie expansion pack in Red Dead Redemption? Really good! Cowboy ninjas? That'd be amazing! Flaming, chain-wielding cowboy skeletons? SICK. AS. FUCK.
Worst: Nemesis
I'm sorry, I just can't take this outfit seriously. Nemesis is supposed to be the next best thing to an otherworldly horror, but he looks like he stole this look from the children's section at Old Navy. He looks like he should be carrying a fucking lunchbox instead of a rocket launcher. I feel like I should hand him a tiny paper bag with a temporary tattoo and a Capri Sun in it. It's not exactly intimidating.
But okay - at least they're trying. Maybe next time they'll put half that much effort into the collector's edition and people won't end up with a bunch of cheap-ass plastic light-up Easter eggs. Fingers crossed.
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