Well, wouldja look at that. Capcom finally pretended that they were a professional video-game-making company.
Ooooooh. Aaaaaaah.
My favorite part, though? The part I really love? It's still not enough, because it will never be enough, because lots people in the Street Fighter fanbase are TOTALLY impossible to satisfy.
Yes, take THAT Capcom. THAT will teach you to respond to your customers' feedback and attempt to improve your products. Ha HAAAA!
But this is what makes the FGC so great: on one side, you've got people who want everything to be free and also have perfect online play and be perfectly balanced and also have updates but somehow only have one version, and on the other side, you've got the Smash community.
I mean, okay - Capcom botched the release of SFV. Botched it right in the botch-hole. It was a clusterbotch, a botching of epic proportions, rated B for Botched. But have any of these people ever PLAYED a Smash game? Melee is more unbalanced than a one-legged drunk in an earthquake. Brawl had FUCKING TRIPPING. And then there's Smash 4. Let's talk about Smash 4.
First off, let me just say that I fucking love that game. Every week, I get together with my friends and we watch anime and play Smash 4. (Right now we're watching Avatar. I like Korra better, personally.) It's delightful. But it's delightful because we NEVER, EVER put up with Smash 4's bullshit. All the other modes besides multiplayer stock matches and the home run contest? Awful. Coin battles are painfully gimmicky. The "story" campaign is repetitive as fuck and bears no relationship whatsoever to how actual matches work. I once started a Smash Tour and FELL ASLEEP before I finished.
Then we get to the stages. Why the FUCK are there so many unplayable stages? Flat Zone, Pac Land, 75m, the ludicrous DK stage where you fight in the background, that goddamn fucking Kirby stage where you have to travel the entire Oregon Trail just to get close to another player - it's honestly like they don't want you to actually play the game sometimes. It's so bad that there are TOURNAMENT-LEGAL stages that are complete bullshit just because the Smash scene is starved for variety.
And that's just the start! There's video after video after video of ridiculous Smash 4 jank. Just think about that: the Smash community has accepted Nintendo's bullshit SO COMPLETELY that they even have a specific word for it. Can you picture the Street Fighter community living with "jank"? Posting good-natured highlight videos of "the top 10 jank moments in SFV"? HELL NO YOU CAN'T. A bunch of Capcom fans threatened to boycott the new Marvel game because they didn't like Chun-Li's FACE. If the actual GAME had the kinds of problems that Smash 4 has, they would literally riot.
So here's my wish for the FGC: please, nobody ever change. I love Capcom fans and their righteous fury. I love Smash fans and their infinite capacity for forgiveness. We need balanced, traditional fighters where everything makes sense AND creative, experimental fighters where the fucking stage itself can decide to try to kill you. High-strung Street Fighter fans bring just as much joy into the world as laid-back Smash fans do. So let's all celebrate the launch of SFV:AE - and then let's settle in, pop open our umbrellas, and wait for the next shitstorm to start.
Ooooooh. Aaaaaaah.
My favorite part, though? The part I really love? It's still not enough, because it will never be enough, because lots people in the Street Fighter fanbase are TOTALLY impossible to satisfy.
Yes, take THAT Capcom. THAT will teach you to respond to your customers' feedback and attempt to improve your products. Ha HAAAA!
But this is what makes the FGC so great: on one side, you've got people who want everything to be free and also have perfect online play and be perfectly balanced and also have updates but somehow only have one version, and on the other side, you've got the Smash community.
I mean, okay - Capcom botched the release of SFV. Botched it right in the botch-hole. It was a clusterbotch, a botching of epic proportions, rated B for Botched. But have any of these people ever PLAYED a Smash game? Melee is more unbalanced than a one-legged drunk in an earthquake. Brawl had FUCKING TRIPPING. And then there's Smash 4. Let's talk about Smash 4.
First off, let me just say that I fucking love that game. Every week, I get together with my friends and we watch anime and play Smash 4. (Right now we're watching Avatar. I like Korra better, personally.) It's delightful. But it's delightful because we NEVER, EVER put up with Smash 4's bullshit. All the other modes besides multiplayer stock matches and the home run contest? Awful. Coin battles are painfully gimmicky. The "story" campaign is repetitive as fuck and bears no relationship whatsoever to how actual matches work. I once started a Smash Tour and FELL ASLEEP before I finished.
Then we get to the stages. Why the FUCK are there so many unplayable stages? Flat Zone, Pac Land, 75m, the ludicrous DK stage where you fight in the background, that goddamn fucking Kirby stage where you have to travel the entire Oregon Trail just to get close to another player - it's honestly like they don't want you to actually play the game sometimes. It's so bad that there are TOURNAMENT-LEGAL stages that are complete bullshit just because the Smash scene is starved for variety.
And that's just the start! There's video after video after video of ridiculous Smash 4 jank. Just think about that: the Smash community has accepted Nintendo's bullshit SO COMPLETELY that they even have a specific word for it. Can you picture the Street Fighter community living with "jank"? Posting good-natured highlight videos of "the top 10 jank moments in SFV"? HELL NO YOU CAN'T. A bunch of Capcom fans threatened to boycott the new Marvel game because they didn't like Chun-Li's FACE. If the actual GAME had the kinds of problems that Smash 4 has, they would literally riot.
So here's my wish for the FGC: please, nobody ever change. I love Capcom fans and their righteous fury. I love Smash fans and their infinite capacity for forgiveness. We need balanced, traditional fighters where everything makes sense AND creative, experimental fighters where the fucking stage itself can decide to try to kill you. High-strung Street Fighter fans bring just as much joy into the world as laid-back Smash fans do. So let's all celebrate the launch of SFV:AE - and then let's settle in, pop open our umbrellas, and wait for the next shitstorm to start.
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