If fighting games were performing arts, Street Fighter would be the theater: respectable, intellectual, high-class. Marvel, on the other hand, would be the circus: loud, flashy, fun as fuck, and, if you stop to look closely, UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTING. That's why none of the problems with MVCI really matter. And there were plenty of problems: the graphics are kinda stuttery and Chun's face is awful and they left out all the X-Men characters and those special edition "gems" are hot trash and, honestly, this "Battle for the Stones" thing is so gimmicky that it hurts physically. Basically, the MVCI rollout combined all the corn-syrup self-promoting fakery of the eSports world with the laziness and apathy that Capcom has become infamous for.
But that's the circus, right? When we go to the circus, we eat funnel cakes and cotton candy and we know damn well that we're just shoveling sugar and chemicals into our faces. We don't care that everything is made out of plaster and pasteboard and is gonna get packed up into a truck in a day or two. There's no worrying at the circus. That's the bittersweet symphony part of life, and we get enough of that in the day-to-day. The circus is something else entirely. We go to the circus to lose our minds for a night, to see and hear shit that we would never see or hear while sane - shit like two characters playing hot potato with a rocket:
And aerial teabags:
And filthy, horrible mixups:
And never-ending blockstrings:
And TWO-HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX HIT COMBOS:
Is any of this fair or reasonable? Does it require careful footsies or in-depth matchup knowledge? Is it even gonna keep working for another two weeks? HELL NO. Circuses don't hire trained thespians, they hire freaks.
And y'know what? I fucking love it. Bring on the contortionists. Show me the sword-swallower. Point me to the magicians - I wanna see some motherfuckers get sawed in half. My fingers are greasy, I'm kinda sick to my stomach, and everything smells like elephant shit, but GODDAMN am I enjoying the show.
But that's the circus, right? When we go to the circus, we eat funnel cakes and cotton candy and we know damn well that we're just shoveling sugar and chemicals into our faces. We don't care that everything is made out of plaster and pasteboard and is gonna get packed up into a truck in a day or two. There's no worrying at the circus. That's the bittersweet symphony part of life, and we get enough of that in the day-to-day. The circus is something else entirely. We go to the circus to lose our minds for a night, to see and hear shit that we would never see or hear while sane - shit like two characters playing hot potato with a rocket:
And aerial teabags:
And filthy, horrible mixups:
And never-ending blockstrings:
And TWO-HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX HIT COMBOS:
Is any of this fair or reasonable? Does it require careful footsies or in-depth matchup knowledge? Is it even gonna keep working for another two weeks? HELL NO. Circuses don't hire trained thespians, they hire freaks.
And y'know what? I fucking love it. Bring on the contortionists. Show me the sword-swallower. Point me to the magicians - I wanna see some motherfuckers get sawed in half. My fingers are greasy, I'm kinda sick to my stomach, and everything smells like elephant shit, but GODDAMN am I enjoying the show.
Comments
Post a Comment